So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
