The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
