They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize