I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
