My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
