is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
