dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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