It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
