I wannas sexs uuuuu
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
