This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
they're like a gay fantastic four
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
