escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
