If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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