she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
