I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
