she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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