dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
