coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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