I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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