Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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