There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
