Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
