The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
