very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He did a backflip because drugs
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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