When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
