I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
