Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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