if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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