you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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