I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
