...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
