i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
