like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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