Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
This is my gift to your gina
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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