white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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