I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize