Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
People in love make me want to vomit
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
