Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
