I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
