Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
