going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
