why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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