My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We had to coat check the pizza.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
