too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
