hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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