the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
