is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
