Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
