i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
