I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
