I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
