I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
