almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
