He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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