You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
