they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
