Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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