Soap is not a condiment
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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