I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
