I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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