her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
