Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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